Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Making Friends

Growing up, I had the same friends throughout grade school and high school.  So I never had to put in much effort to make new ones.  It usually just happened naturally.  But once I went off to college, my friend making skills were lacking.  Though God blessed me with awesome friends throughout college, I learned a lot in the process.
My Life Long Friends

Since Baby C was born (less than a year and a half ago), we have moved 3 times.  One of those times being across country.  At first, that move was very difficult for me.  We left our family and friends and moved to a city where we knew no one.  I began to get very homesick and felt like I was just going through the motions, day by day.  And I hated living life that way. 
Even though I was apart of a mommy group and attended other mommy and baby classes, I continued to put a wall up and never make any real friend connections.  I knew I should reach out for friendship, but I was too scared.  I was scared to be rejected or not cool enough for the other mommies.  I was scared to say the wrong thing, afraid I might offend someone.  I was scared to open up and let them get to know me.

I began praying for God's guidance and asking for just one good friend.  That's all I needed. God brought me that friend a couple months later.  I met another mommy who lived down the street and happened to have a daughter the same age as Baby C.  We began going to classes together and slowly getting to know one another.

But then my husband and I had to make a quick decision in order to make a better life for our family in the future.  Our tenants who lived in our condo, about an hour away, were moving out.  We had to decide if we wanted to move into a smaller place (without many of the perks we had) to save money, or to find new tenants.  We decided to move back in.

So I left my new friend behind.  My heart yearns for friendship, but continues to build a wall.  I reach out for the sake of Baby C and I to have social time, but I don't get too close, because I know we'll be leaving again.

Do you have an easy time making friends?  Or are you like me, holding back and afraid to let anyone too close?


  1. Hey, I feel you! I also moved away from my family and friends when J was only a few months old. Luckily, my little sister is now closer but still, all my mommy friends are too far now. It's not that I don't want to make friends, it's just that I don’t want to bother anyone you know? Everyone is so busy and such and I don't want to be a "new person" burden. Anyways, we made it a point to try attend a new church and parents group. I don't think we are close to any of them yet. I also invited two families from our daycare over and that's been nice. We run into each other sometimes during drop-off and pick-up. Even though I'm not the extrovert type, I find that when I did reach out to the daycare moms, they were really receptive. And they also appreciated that I reached out since they may have been afraid to too. Anyways, hope you make some amazing friends. We're looking to do the same. It'll take a lot of time and we're ok with that.

    1. You are right, it takes time to really build up amazing friendships. I guess that's why I'm hesitant, because I know we are moving again in a few months. I'm even afraid to join a church right now. I don't want to get comfortable and leave again. But I did join a Playdate Exchange on Meetup.com. It's been helpful. Thanks for understanding, Lisa. Now I don't feel so alone.

  2. I feel for your sadness. Indeed, it is very hard to let go of your friends but the memories would always linger into your heart. Don’t worry; I know you’ll be fine. Just remember to keep those memories together inside your heart.

    1. Thank you for your encouraging words Andrea!